\u2018Why am I here? That\u2019s exactly why mate. Because it\u2019s the other side of the world. When I\u2019m in Australia I have to travel six to eight hours to get to another country and then I\u2019m in Asia, surrounded by Australians. Here you travel for an hour and you\u2019re some place else entirely. For example, how long did you travel?\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u201945 minutes.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018See? That\u2019s what I mean. 40 fecking 5 minutes mate. That\u2019s nothing. In Australia you can\u2019t do anything in 45 minutes. After 45 minutes you\u2019re at the exact same place you were 45 minutes ago. Everything takes a shitload of time.\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018But do you like it here?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Listen mate. I\u2019m a plummer alright? In Australia I worked half a day to pay for rent and groceries. Here I have to work three. I work my ass off and make virtually no money. But hey, I can sit here and drink beers and talk to you, so yeah, I like it. It\u2019s good mate.\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018And Australia isn\u2019t?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Listen mate, there\u2019s Australia and there\u2019s Australia, know what I mean?\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018I think I might have a vague idea of what you mean, but you\u2019re very drunk and so am I, so actually no, I don\u2019t really know what you mean.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018You\u2019re an honest lad, I\u2019ll give ya that. Alright, listen mate. You can go to Australia, right. Go to Sydney, Melbourne, all those places. Go down the whole fecking Gold Coast, but that\u2019s not Australia mate. That\u2019s not it. Sure, when you go there, go there, and see all those places, but afterwards mate, afterwards go INLAND. You go inland, right, and you get to the north-east part of Queensland, and I\u2019ll swear to you\u2026 (kisses his fingers) The best\u2026 (shakes his head) Most beautiful… (Doesn\u2019t know how to physically express himself any further, so takes a big swig of Lager) THAT\u2019S the REAL Australia mate. That\u2019s it, fuck those\u2026 Yeah, sure, you can go to the East Coast, go there, fuck it, I don\u2019t care, but you go inland mate, INLAND, fecking Aboriginals mate, nature. THAT\u2019S the real Australia.<\/p>\n
(I nod my head and finish my beer)<\/p>\n
\u2018Is that yours?\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018Yeah, it was.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Here mate, take mine.\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018Are you sure?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Yeah, this one. Is it mine? Who\u2019s is it? Well, I\u2019ve got another, just take it.\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018Thanks mate.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018You\u2019re welcome mate. You\u2019re okay, you\u2019re a good guy. (to the whole table) HEY GUYS, you know what? We should all go to OUR PLACE afterwards.\u2019<\/p>\n
– \u2018The bars over here close so fucking early.\u2019<\/p>\n
(shrugs) ‘So let\u2019s go to OUR place, we\u2019ll have a drink, some laughs, let\u2019s GO (everybody murmurs agreement).\u2019<\/p>\n
(\u2026)<\/p>\n
And then they turned on the lights and we all got our coats and went outside and went home and never saw each other again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"